I love being in love. Not just me being the only one, in love, but being in love with someone that is just as excited about me. I love the competition to out-love the other person, and the satisfaction that comes with doing right by someone I love.
Now we all know that people give and receive love in different ways, but in the beginning, we use the shotgun approach, lavishing attention and loving behavior on a significant other. Why does, with time, some loose this drive to show their partner how much they care. Do they get bored or lazy? Can you really maintain this in-love feeling for the long haul?
Where it gets tough is when things slow down and the "real world", with its problems and schedules, and finally, lack of sleep causes one or both of you to get grouchy.
Beware of the people who love being in love. Not, in-love with another person, but with the rush of being loved. This creates a hard situation where when their feelings aren't feeling loved, they stop showing that part, of what it means to love some one. This is a petty response to not getting what they want. You know what that reveals? It reveals that they are immature, only in it for what they get, otherwise known as a selfish taker.
I have always said that Love is a choice not a feeling. Sure those feelings are there, and they feel damn good, but choosing to love someone despite their performance is exactly the definition of LOVE.
Now you can't help if someone puts on a show for a while and then you find out that they are just a really good actor. Lying and pretending you are different than you really are is never good and you might just find out that someone likes the real you over the facade you try to portray, but the danger is that the other person feels betrayed, and duped into a relationship under false pretense.
Even the bible talks about different kinds of Love: the kind of love you have for a brother is different than the kind you have for a lover, but the ultimate type of love isn't just about the golden rule, loving (treating) others as you would like to be loved (treated), but about loving others despite them being very lovable. It is super tough to love others when they aren't being lovable, but if you think of how you love your friends, your children, and our pets, you get a better idea of what this means.
How many times do you give your friends grace when they behave a certain way, but if it is your significant other behaving the same way, you crucify them. Sounds like we need a perspective shift. It is super hard to stay focused on acting loving when we are so easily offended by the person we are supposed to love the most. Why is that???
In the age of easy divorces and remarriages, guilty, some relationships stand the test of time and the couple really and truly seem to still be in love. My theory is that the couple have goodwill toward the other and they constantly consider the other person and their needs and desires over their own.
I assume that you must have great communication with the other person so you can find out what "does it" for the other person and put forth the effort and hope the other person will invest mutually. I hope this article will help to shift the culture in the right direction to try and become someone truly worth still being in love with, so your partner feels lucky to have you and their one and only. Happy loving.